FML

And I thought making your body perspire was a great way of relieving a fever. Think it might have worked in ancient times, but I think not over-stressing the body sounds more logical. I'm not too sure about it, though sometimes baking yourself does work...

And how can I go see a doctor in the middle of the night, only to recieve an MC for tomorrow's work? I doubt I can bring myself to it. It is way too much; I've already taken 20 days of sick leave. I'll drag my carcass to work even if I have to.

Damn my life, this year really isn't a jolly good year for me. I've been hospitalized, ill, and now, dying. This just cannot get any worse can they? Well, having crash my car and spill my guts all over the freeway's the next worse thing but I doubt I can handle that kind of a tragedy.

To be honest, I'll die. And I'm too young to die.

So instead of studying, I've been up reading my books, and I've completed the second of the four books that I got; one was given to me and the other 3 was bought just because I needed to get them.

--

Oh how I wish I could go back to Australia. Go and enjoy the country side for just a while longer; with my girlfriend and some friends. Just take an Evo down Great Ocean Road. I just miss that place. I love the beach. It's ever so clean, makes it look like the BP leak was just a comment made by the Today papers.

Seriously, a nice ride, some good friends, a loving partner and it all seems so perfect.

Or probably I needed to speed down that winding road of awesomeness.

I've only been there once, and it was onboard a bus. 6 wheels, 20 passengers, a little off a hundred braking horse power, and a chinese tour guide; that's no way to treasure the great road.

And I wonder drinking two hundred and forty twelve cups of water can bring down my fever.

Eywa

I removed my Wisdom Tooth on the 11th, and guess what, I had to be admitted to a hospital because of it. Damn. Just when I thought I could be living better.

Alright, maybe I am a little off better having given Medical Leave till the end of the month, but still, I wish my body could have been fitter. You know, physically fitter. Like what my officer back in BMT use to tell us, being combat fit does not mean that you are definitely physically fit. I was combat fitter then the rest, and I thought I was physically fit too. But then came the day I had the Wisdom tooth out.

It was only 1 Wisdom tooth, but I guess it was one too many. I lost about 5 unit of blood, given the average Joe would have about 12-14 unit of it. And the doctors ain't fully convinced that I lost it all by spitting and swallowing. He suspect that there might be some internal bleeding and all. I hope not. And I do believe I lost all of it just by spitting.

I mean, I had been spitting for 2 nights, having little sleep in between. Probably made 20 trips or night or something. It was frustrating. And when the wound finally healed, it made me lost so much of blood that I was having a throbbing headache, pale skin all over.

Damn, and I was at Orchard when I discovered that I shouldn't be walking. Only in the night was I admitted to the hospital when my girlfriend forced me to consult a doctor.

And even then, the doctor insisted that I was alright. He probably thought I was some nut case who needed the attention of a doctor. I don't know if it was lucky or not, but when he finally got the result from the blood sample, he finally believed me; I had low blood count.

So I was admitted and got 1 unit of blood pumped into my system. Stayed there for another night for observation and poof, I'm out of there.

Was admitted to a psychiatry ward. Now how cool was that. I mean seriously, it was pretty awesome. And my lovely girlfriend was so worried, she wanted me to be transfered out. At first, an A ward. And then, and A ward down town Orchard - Mount E. I appreciated that damn, how cool was it to sleep with loopy people aye?

Haha! I enjoyed my stay there though, and I thank everyone who showed concern for me while I was there. Kenneth who came down, and my cousin, uncle and auntie, and my family, and my beloved girlfriend. I love you so much! If not for you, I might be with Eywa now.

For those who do not know that I was there, not need to panic, I'm fine and feeling better now. So no need to worry, and I apologize to those who wanted me dead - not my time yet. Eywa was grateful; while Jesus and Satan were throwing dice to see where I belonged, she toss me back to the Living, and told me to save Gaia.

Oh well, save Gaia, save the world. Ironic.

You see, we don't really save Gaia. Gaia will save Herself. She'll destroy those who stand in Her way, and watch the creatures who tried to destroy Her get destroyed. We just want to save Gaia because we ultimately want to save humanity from the brink of destruction. Gaia, on the other hand, has got a greater threshold then we can imagine.

She'll burn us all with volcanic lava, flood the low lying continents, starve people who has destroyed her fertile land. Disease, plague and war will devour the human race. Once we are all gone, She will have micro-organism to shape her world again. Our corpse will be used to fertilize the land we destroyed, the lava ashes will create caves for other critters to live in, and the flooded low lands will spring with life all over again.

So are we really saving Gaia? Or are we saving ourselves? Think about it.

To Fly? To Sail? Or to walk?

Why am I given such a difficult choice to make? Many would defiantly chose the first, while people who study with me in my poly days might chose the second, and my friends who are close to me, they might chose to the last. You see, in life, it's not all about making the right choice, but to live by the choices you've made; be it good or bad.

And the Army thought me 3 very important word that I will bear for eternity; Suck It Up.

That's right, suck it up. If you think you've made a mistake, suck it up. What's done is done, so just make do of it first, rectify the problem, and then answer for your folly.

And if you did something right, i.e saving mankind from eminent doom, suck it up. No one is going to thank you. No one is going to name a street after you or anything like that.

--

You fragrance still lingers on my pillow

Oh how I wish you were here with me

By my side tonight, my dear.

--

Time passes by so quickly. I was just having a little chat with my little friend back in the Poly days. It was so hilarious. We had so much fun in the past; basically having a blast of our time. We stayed back in school and used the facilities; well, we pretty much exploited our privileges. But that's the whole point right; to get into trouble, try not to get caught. And if we ever do, just face the music, and do it all over again!

Now, every little shit that I do, every mistake that I make, I am to be accountable for. The Air Force is teaching me that. Seems like I can get charged for almost anything under the sun, in the bunk, or in the canteen. Oh well, I'm a discipline solider, and that is what I am.

--

Perhaps, I am the type of solider the military wants; not some grunt or some very smart dude who knows how to handle a military coupe or something, but someone who is able to bend his will and bow to orders. Not many people are willing to do this for the government. Many would say, "Why be a government dog when you can be your own boss?". And with that, they mock you.

But they have not see beyond their nose; what lies above them is a dog-eat-dog world. If you're in the service industry, the customer is the boss. Screw up and there goes your name. If the cooperate jungle, your boss is your boss; no two way about it. And basically that's about it, other jobs are just variation of these 2.

--

Oh, and in due time to come, I hope I will be seeing 2 new additions to the family! No one is pregnant, getting married, or adopting another being, though I'm tempted to get a sheep-dog.

Let's just pray that Holly will get new company soon. =)

And that Jul will eventually change his ride soon, Dom will get his license and his ride, Chow and I can finally get the same engine, and may it be >3696cc turbo charged, >332bhp, coupe.

Amen.

Too Long

It has been way too long since I last wrote an entry in, though I have always wanted to say something, and it either goes out the window, or I just have to hurry off to do some other stuff. Oh well, since I have the time today, and I feel like speaking up, might as well give it a shot again huh.

It has been almost a year now, and for how long have I had this blog? Think it should be a good 5 years, perhaps? Probably more, maybe less - I don't really know, but all I know is that I think I've probably spoke better, and write better, and definitely typed faster.

Oh, before I forget, I bought myself a PS3! AND I AM SO LOVIN' IT!

Damn, the whole console is pack with awesomeness. Had been playing Morden Warfare, Assassin Creed 2, and God Of War. The graphics, the story, and the slashing, the punishment, the graphics, the jumping, the action, the graphics... yeah.. the graphics...

Seriously, the HDMI capabilities make a whole load of difference. Everything seems sharper on a larger television set, everything seems so much clearer, and the devil is in the details; water behaviors like water; gravity behaviors like gravity. Everything is AWESOME. FF13 is so on the wish list now.

Did I mention that I went to Australia just before the year ended for 2010? It was an awesome trip! I enjoyed myself back there. The weather, the time I spent with my folks, the shopping; it was fantastic! I wish I could go there again. My girlfriend's parents asked me to join them to Hokkaido this coming May, but I reckon I would be in camp training or something. How I wish I could join them. Would be an adventure of my life, but oh well, my job has to come first.

Finding Nemo.

For almost half a year I have not write in. Seems as though this blog is dead; like the lifeless me now.

For as long as I know, I was a happy person, and then I met someone whom I thought could bring me happiness forever. But nothing is forever - I thought I've learnt that. But no, it is either that, or I have chosen not to learn from my lesson. And this is the bitter taste of my failure.

It is already close to midnight, and I thought I could fall asleep 2 hours ago. But I just had to write and talk it out. I needed someone to hear my thoughts. In this world, we are all given 2 ears and a mouth. But everyone seems to be using more of their mouth then their ears. I need someone to hear me out. I need someone to lend me their ears and hear my sorrows, my anxiety, my failures, my dreams, my desires, my life.

I have my brothers, but they are all so busy these days. Think the Lord wants something out of me this time round. He wants me to be alone. He wants me to feel abandoned. He wants me to feel how He is feeling now; ABANDONED.

I'll find my way, for that is the only way I can survive.

I've lived so much, nothing is gonna hold me back from living. And that is where I am now. My friends, my brothers, my family. They are my love ones. They are whom I turned to.

I am not abandoned, He made me realized this.

Thank you Father.